


Falling Apart

by Katsuko



Category: Death Note
Genre: Alternate Canon, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-31
Updated: 2011-01-31
Packaged: 2017-10-15 06:38:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/158054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katsuko/pseuds/Katsuko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The question hit him with the force of all his memories: <i>What have I become?</i> The world can change with the smallest of actions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling Apart

**Author's Note:**

> Back in 2007, I was involved in a multi-canon online RPG called Econtra; the game generally had two of every character, the canon version and the "alternate timeline" version. I was playing an alternate timeline Yagami Light, who made a very different decision at a pivotal point than the canon version.
> 
> In April of that year, I got it into my head to write out that moment when canon and alternate reality diverged. The story in its brief entirety is below.

Ryuuzaki was ignoring him. It wasn't exactly a new experience, and in this situation it was also understandable. But Light wanted - _needed_ , it seemed - to know what it was that his father had seen. So while Ryuuzaki's attention was focused on whatever was outside the helicopter, Light reached over and deftly plucked the notebook out of his friend's hands.

Big mistake on his part.

Everything that he had done, every action since he first picked up the Death Note months before, every detail of his master plan to take down the man seated next to him came back in a rush. He tried to keep from crying out but the information overload was too much. The only blessing was that he didn't articulate his most damning thought:

 _What have I become?_

And then it was over. In the ensuing stillness he could hear his friend - his adversary - asking if he was all right. It was so very tempting to say _no, Ryuuzaki, I'm not, you need to lock me up and throw away the goddamn key_... but instead he murmured something about needing to compare the names written in the notebook with the names of those criminals who had been killed. Light turned his face away as he worked, already knowing that the names would match. A small part of his mind was screaming at him to complete the circle, to write down Higuchi's name and reclaim ownership, but the stronger instinct had him slide open his watch and tuck the scraps of the Death Note beneath the band.

He finished his comparison and handed the notebook back to Ryuuzaki, apologizing for his reaction. The hidden paper against his skin wouldn't let him forget the truth though. He was Kira, and he had passed judgment on himself:

Destroy the second Death Note. Maintain guardianship over the remaining one. Never let another soul use it.

And never forget the horrible things he had done in the name of justice.


End file.
